Vajazzling: what’s up with that?

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Vajazzling ~ to give the female genitals a sparkly makeover with crystals so as to enhance their appearance

Vajazzling came to the public arena when Jennifer Love-Hewitt mentioned it in her book, published around 2010 I think.  I’m not sure the trend is as poppin’ today but I know many girls still like the vajazzling idea.  However, it can be hard to find a salon that will do it (if you’re not in NY or LA).  You may remember me mentioning vajazzling in an old post that covered options for “lady parts” grooming.  I became more curious about the vajazzling; what is it really like?  how practical is it?  does it stay put?  is it worth it?  And what better way to find out than to try it?

First off, I had never had any kind of waxing so getting a brazilian (all hair removed from the nether region) was really NOT cool.  It was the kind of pain that hurt really bad because I had never experienced it, not because it was the worst pain I had ever felt (if that makes sense).  Worst section by far was the front, right on top of the pubic bone (now I understand why they invented the “landing strip”; it avoids pulling hair out of the most sensitive spot!)  After the experience, I am convinced regular waxing is not worth it but vajazzling is amazing, people!  You must experience it!

Anyway, on to the FAQ:

  1. What’s the process?
    Make an appointment at a salon.  Wax all your lady region hair off.  Apply the vajazzle crystals (almost like a temporary tattoo; peel off the sticker, apply it to your skin, give it some pressure and voila!)
  2. How long does it take?
    Depends on the salon.  My girl was insanely efficient.  It took her 5 minutes to do the entire wax and then about 5 minutes to apply the vajazzles (pre-designed).
  3. Can you pick your vajazzle design?
    Yes, I picked mine but the options were very limited (star, heart, flower, bow, “SEXY” phrase, etc.).  My salon told me I could purchase my own design online and bring it in (see vajazzle designs on Amazon).  Also, there are some people who will design your vajazzle but they are usually located in the “fat cat cities” like NY and LA and it will cost more, take more time, etc.
  4. How long does it last?
    My vajazzle stayed on for a long time, probably over 2 weeks.  It normally falls off between 5-10 days.  In fact, my hair started growing back faster than my vajazzle came off!
  5. How much was it?
    The brazilian wax was $65.  The vajazzle was $12.
  6. Does it hurt?
    Vajazzling?  Not a bit.  Waxing?  Hell yes.
  7. How do you prepare for your appt?
    My salon requires you to grow out your lady hair for about 4 weeks before coming in for a wax (every salon will vary).  Other than that, pop some pain pills to control the soreness after the wax but that’s about it.
  8. Any restrictions after the procedure?
    My girl told me not to work out for 24 hours, not to apply any lotions over it or scrub it in the shower, and not to get in a hot tub or pool for 48 hours.  I was pretty sore so “not working out” turned into “no sex tonight even though it’s a surprise that should induce such an activity.”  Disappointing.
  9. How awkward is getting a wax anyway?
    I would say it’s as awkward as you allow it to be.  The process is as follows: you walk into your private room and convenient lady wipes are offered to you (uh.  thanks?).  You undress waist down and lay down on an examination table similar to that of your doctor’s (too familiar for comfort, I know).  Different salons my change this up but my girl asked me to position my legs butterfly style like so:

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    She then asked me to help her hold my skin tight and proceeded from there.  She went extremely fast which I guess is a good thing but I had a conditioned twitch every time her hand came near my body by the end of it.  Chit chat during the procedure was to the point and a great distraction (unlike at the doctor’s office where if my “awesome” toe nail polish is mentioned while my legs are spread I may have to hit you with my own speculum).  Afterwards, all I wanted was an ice pack and alcohol (the latter of which I got immediately).  It’s called priorities, people!

  10. Is it worth it?
    I can’t imagine waxing like this on a regular basis like many women.  Not worth the money on any level in my opinion.  And I don’t particularly like feeling like an pubescent child down there.  The vagazzling experience, however, was totally worth it.  The end result just makes you smile because not only is it new and different but it’s also just plain ‘ol fun for you and your vagina!
  11. Do guys like it?
    In my opinion, as long as you’re not changing something critical about your personality, men like it when you change things up in the relationship.  Trying new things, adding some fun to the bedroom, trying new styles “down there”, etc.  Sure, they probably have a favorite or a preference.  But just because french fries are my favorite food doesn’t mean I could eat them every day; at some point I’ll either get sick from them or bored.  ADVENTURE and SURPRISE will keep relationships alive so my motto is to experiment and have fun with it!

Now for the interesting part: pictures!  These are obviously done by an artist and yours will most likely not be as cool, perhaps more along these lines:

vajazzling-salons

But who cares!  Let’s divulge in our fantasies for a bit.
(photos courtesy of Francis Goodman)

We get it.  Your vagina says yes.

We get it. Your vagina says yes.

Looks like something Captain America might want his woman to sport.

Looks like something Captain America might want his woman to sport.

Oh, pretty!

Oh, pretty!

THIS.  IS.  AWESOME.  I want to have this done sometime in my life.

THIS. IS. AWESOME. I want to have this done sometime in my life.

 

 

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