Sexy Jobs: Sell Your Pregnancy Test

Mermaids are cool, I admit.  That’s a hard job to beat.  But it’s hard work: breathing through tubes, moving around gracefully in frigid water, and looking elegant while doing so.  What if you could make money just by letting your body do what comes naturally?

It doesn’t matter if you’re pregnant or not.  You can still sell your pregnancy test to other [desperate] women.  Take this Craiglist ad, for example: she’s not expecting but in case someone is hovering over your potentially pregnant belly but you aren’t ready to tell them the truth yet:


I’m surprised anyone in Denton is not pregnant.


OR perhaps you want to trap your man into proposing, as this savvy Californian women suggests.  That’s totally cool and healthy:

“Playing tricks on mom and dad”  WTF, how old are we?


If you consider doing this, make sure your sticks are fresh:


Making money… by selling $25 pregnancy sticks… for your expected baby…???  Well THAT kid is gonna have the best future ever!


This gal even offers to pee on you, in case that’s your thing:

Wait, that can’t be it.  OH, I get it, you are SO lazy that you actually require people to bring their OWN pregnancy tests so you can urinate on it.  Another bright future for whatever fetus is stirring in this lady.


In case you’re strapped for cash, here’s a cheaper option that I’m sure can still pass as your own pregnancy test:

THAT is what I want to see on the next baby shower invitation, “You’re Invited: The Bull did his job.”


Although some people don’t agree with my enthusiasm:

So… after insulting you, she’s still selling her stick for profit.  And we’re the supposedly f*cked up ones, eh?

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