Forget vajazzling; what about a vajacial!!

Vajacial ~ a facial for your vagina

Do WHAT to my vagina?

Do WHAT to my vagina?

Yea, we’re with you cracked-out Lindsay.  What the eff is going on with the vagina obsession right now?  First vajazzling, which is actually kinda fun (read my experience here).  But a facial for your vagina?  REALLY, people?!

Alexis Wolfer, editor of, said the Vajacial and its spinoffs result from “the trend of women hyper-focusing on every last flaw in themselves.”  Could be.  Or it could be an example of the absolute power marketing has over our minds, especially us women.  You say we need what to make us look better?  What kind of Tiffany’s necklace?  How big a wedding?  Well, if you say so; after all, a mass of illusive figures who work in offices far far away who don’t know me nor have any bearing on my existence should definitely have the ability to influence all aspects of my life.

Stript Wax Bar owner Katherine Goldman says a vajacial is exactly what it sounds like: a 50-minute procedure that begins with a cleanse and anti-bacterial wash of the bikini area.  This is then followed by a papaya enzyme mask that gets rid of skin cells that trap hairs.  Next, comes extraction of ingrown hairs with a pair of tweezers.  Finally, another mask is applied.   At Stript Wax, there are four choices, one of which is specifically geared toward correcting discoloration.

Um.  Hm.

Ponder with me, Americans.

Ponder with me, Americans.

Spending 50 minutes of my life having someone massage and pamper my vagina…

I'm confused, fellow Americans.

I’m confused, fellow Americans.

… all of which lead to an ending that does NOT involve an orgasm…

I'm not sure, Americans; deal seems bad.

I’m not sure, Americans; deal seems bad.

… an unhappy ending, I might add, that I have to pay for???!!!  MADNESS!

Be crazy with me, fellow Americans!

I am MAD, fellow Americans!

 I scoff at thee, you vajacial devil and all who partake in your dark magic!

I am scoffing, Americans.

I am scoffing, Americans.

 (but between you and me: I never would have been the leader I am today without my weekly vajacials)

Tee-hee, fellow Americans!

Tee-hee, fellow Americans!


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